Tuesday, September 02, 2003

RIP Jordan Earl Esquire III 6:13pm
April 27, 2003-September 2, 2003.

that is so hard to say but it's true. i changed his water and then when i get back from classhes upside down swimming. he was breathing and wiggling. so i call my dad. then i started crying. it's a goldfish and they can't give you teh affection like a dog but jordan was mine. he outlived his friends from the carnival. he lived through a stressful car ride back to oxnard.

for a while it was just me and jordan. he watched movies with me, and follow my finger. he told me when he was hungry. he was happpy almost all of the time. he was happiest when i gave him a bigger home and at feeding time. if i sat and watched him he would swim right in front of me. i miss him. he was a great goldfish.i don't know if any goldfish can love up to jordan.

i was not ready for him to go. i blam it all on myself because i changed his water. i was supposed to change the filter on the britta but i didn't. it was all my fault.

i haven't flushed hom down yet. i want to give him a proper burial, but i'm not in oxnard but long beach is his real home. i miss him so much. it's so lonely in my room and with jordan it seemed as if i wasn't. evertytime i look at his bowl empty it make me cry. i so used to him swimming around and making splashes. i had a plan for me and jordan to go on pet star and meet mario lopez. jordan was going to jump through a hoop and into another bowl. but now we can't. when i turn on winapm the song heaven by moonpools and caterpillars played.

i'm going to go now and flush him down the toilet because jordan belongs in the water. i loved him so much.

i hurt.

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