Friday, February 12, 2010

opening cermony semi-live blogging

908pm oh shit mounties! thanks for the useless information bob "big dick"costas. is that matt lauer? yes. shit. i know where in the world matt lauer is.

909pm "oh canada" is this canadian miley cyrus? oh shit french canadian! nice lip sync. NAWT!

912pm hahaha fake wind, almost totes forgot they are inside.

914 6 minutes till parade of nations. tite! ooooo native canadians! tite! bah they're moving! tite! why am i not high? oh hay, there wolf head. shut up costas!

920 thanks for that run down on how the parade of nations works.

922 intimate and personal, that's like the 5th time. oh hay albania flag holder! go algeria! and one person!

923 costas, damn cut the shit! i swear that is the same shit he repeats every olympics. same goes to you lauer.

928 bermuda, snaps for the shorts. fashion rundown to follow

929 costas just said gringos! tite!

anissa just joined.

931 go china!! more useless knowledge. i guess it will come in handy when i am on jeopardy.

935 i keep forgetting they are inside. ethiopia, three people!!! go you!

937 anissa: people in the little white sweater need to be shot, every last one of them. oh france. nawt cute outfits.

938 georgia. simply moving.

940 germany nawt cute. is it cold in there? i mean they are inside but everyone is in outside cold gear.

942 ghana! awesome!

942 gb! nice teeth! cute blazers!

943 i love the one athlete countries

944 what iceland 4 athletes? i thought they had a hockey team? oh that was mighty ducks two and the goodwill games. anissa: i feel like i was lied to

946 i'm glad the tell you the country that is next. really ireland made a contribution? anissa what kind of contribution. awkward ireland separates iran from israel. thank you alphabet

948 oh shit jamaica is next!! cool runnings! wait what? no cool runnings.

949 i love japan! not their outdoor outfits.

kazakhstan love the outfit. anissa: i missed japan FUCK! me: it's okay their outfits were not cute.

951 south korea. costas thanks for the pun on the "thaw" in relations between north korea and south korea walking in together.

954 lithuania green mexico is next. anissa: lauer is way better than costas, caca is what i call him. umm why aren't the outfits cute???? ok you got me mongolia flag bearer.

anissa: just in case you weren't sure

959 stop dropping names lauer.

1000 anissa: okay the native canadians are getting on my nerves. me: how dare you?

please lauer tap my olympic knowledge. russia what are you holding. hella cute!

107 sweden soon, yellow? nawt cute! okay beanies are cute.

omg usa up next! anissa: i gotta get my sweater! hurry the fuck up ukraine!

USA USA USA USA!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's about to get cray cray!

love the beanies! go usa!
oh caca. the building is going ape shit! love the buffalo plaid scarf!

i want!!!

ryan adams? bryan adams? that is not bryan adams. nelly furtato where is timberland?

1021 the native canadians are loving it!

who else is canadian? where are the trailer park boys? and no costas i didn't know that voice. fuck.

we need better commentators. wolf totes team jacob.

that bear reminds me of the dancing air thingy.

anissa i told you the ice was gonna break. is this when the dinosaurs came to canada? this is when cananda became better.

whale? fucking amazing! anissa: how they do that? free willy! salmon. yum.

again i wish i were high

where are the salmon going? up to die. more totem poles. please tell me more costas. PLEASE!

where are the flappy mouths? where are terance and philip?

canada doesn't have grass. canadians don't have hearts. sarah, check the bling.

where is dov charney?

oh here is the french part. canada please stop!

those are not realt tattoos. anissa: totally a t-shirt. sadly those are his real tattoos.

what is this? i see no canadian history. only the fucking leaves.

anissa: where is the case of degrassi?

who has passed the wind? a tribute to canadian prairie dogging.

anissa: what the fuck? he looks canadian. or she....omg this is so (red)tarded. i want to just shoot someone so bad. i don't like that it took me this long to figure out that this is a man. where is celine? oh god this is so dumb. she's high!

where are the mascots? i want hella cute!

anissa having a beer.

really slam poetry?

anissa: all that is wrong is in canada.

welcome to vancouver bitch! the world can hear our terrible french!

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